One Things For Certain: Nothings For Sure

Since Taylor and I have been married we have wanted a baby. For the first year we weren't exactly "trying," but we weren't preventing either. We figured that it would happen when it was supposed to happen. After we had been married a year, I was started to get concerned that something wasn't right. I had a yearly appointment  with my OBGYN and I thought that would be a good time to discuss our concerns. My doctor asked me to have an ultrasound done, so I made an appointment and had my ovaries checked. The ultrasound tech didn't say too much about what she saw, but said that the doctor would call me in the next couple of days. After 2-3 days I was so anxious to find out what the results were, so I called and talked to my doctors nurse, she told me that my doctor was out of town, but said that she could tell me what the results said. She went on to tell me that the papers said, "multiple follicles seen. PCOS?" That's all that she could tell me and I hung up more confused than when I called. I had no idea what PCOS was or what that mean for Taylor and I. Thankfully, my good friend google helped me out. PCOS stands for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I found out that it was the leading cause in infertility blah blah blah. I cried and cried because whatever this "syndrome" was, I knew I didn't want it. I called back the following week to talk to the doctor about what this meant because we were ready to start a family. The nurse called me back again instead of the doctor and basically just said, "the doctor has confirmed that you do have PCOS and you can make an appointment in three months to come in if you still haven't conceived." I hung up the phone a mess. The only information I had was what I had read on the internet. I felt like my doctor wasn't informative and wasn't explaining things that should have been explained.Taylor and I talked about what we should do and we decided to get another opinion. A lot of people told me to get an appointment with Dr. Torres, so I called to make one and he was booked up for three months. I knew I needed answers ASAP because I am a very anxious person. The receptionist told me great things about Dr. Haraway who was in the same office as Dr. Torres. I decided to make an appointment with him and he got me in 2 weeks later. (July 2011) We met with him and he sat down in the room and talked with Taylor and I for 45 minutes about what he "thought" was going on and what his suggestions were. He told us that he looked over the same ultrasound that the other doctor had me do and he did NOT feel that I had PCOS. (praise the Lord) He said that he felt that from past records he saw from the other doctor that he thought I was anovulatory. (which basically just means that I do not ovulate on my own) Dr. Haraway told me that he wanted me to try a drug called Clomid. He explained that it is a pill to help women conceive and that it also helps women ovulate. He explained that it does not work for everyone and after taking it I have my blood drawn every month to see if it had worked or not. Our main concern at this point was multiples. We had heard that clomid could cause more than one child. Dr. Haraway told us that the chances of twins was 12% higher than someone not on clomid. He also said that there was a chance of triplets, but he said in his 20 years of gynecology he had only seen 3 sets of "clomid triplets." We went home and discussed it in private. After many prayers and discussions, we decided to give it a shot and see how the first month went. Taylor was bound and determine that we would have a baby without the medicine, but after talking about it, we decided to try it one month and see if it worked. After the first month, the nurse called and confirmed that I had ovulated, so we decided to keep trying it. We did 6 months of clomid and every month I ovulated. ( By this point in my life, I was no longer terrified of needles like I was prior to our clomid experience) My doctor called me himself and said that he usually didn't have people take the clomid any longer than 6 months. He said if ovulation occured for 6 consecutive months and there was no contraception, then his next option would be to send us to a fertility specialist in Little Rock. He asked me to have my tubes checked in December of 2011 before we were referred to the specialist. This procedure is called an HCG and I was more than dreading it. (because of google) I was told to take the clomid one more month (the 7th month) just to increase the chances that particular month. (sometimes even if the tubes are open there are minor blockages that are "flushed" out during this procedure, so the clomid was taken just to make sure I ovulated) I went in for the HCG and it was not a pleasant experience, but I dealt with it. I was willing to do whatever I had to do. Once it was over the doctor confirmed that my tubes were fine and that I more than likely wasn't the problem. He asked for Taylor to get "checked." We talked about it, but considering that he already has a child and knowing that Christmas was coming up, but weren't ready to put out the expense of it. (because insurance wouldn't cover any of it and it was $350) Throughout the last 7 months Taylor and I held each other close and did a lot of crying and a lot of praying. We kept our faith knowing that God had a plan for a family, but we were starting to wonder what that plan was. 

                                               I love this picture. Living on a prayer!